


Guardian Angel

by Tessacat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Bucky Barnes & Peter Parker Friendship, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Love Triangles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Violence, natasha romanova wants someone to care for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:15:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tessacat/pseuds/Tessacat
Summary: Angel is just your average neighborhood crime fighter. One night while patrolling the city she stumbles across a boy in peril. The boy, it turns out is New York’s very own Spiderman! Angels life soon becomes complicated when the Avengers make it there mission to recruit her.A few years post Endgame AU where no one died/got old
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Peter Parker/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Photo below is Guardian Angles suit minus the goggles.

I stood atop the highrise, the wind blowing through my hair and wings. Quietly I wait, listening for any sounds of a person in peril. 

This is what I do most every night, staying high and out of sight as I keep watch over the city. Of course, I’m not the only protector, there are about 5 other masked crusaders that patrol the great state of New York, besides Spiderman and the Avengers. Is Spiderman technically an Avenger? I’ll have to ask Nat when I see her. Is she coming by tonight? She comes by every Friday night but I can’t remember what today is.

A distant voice draws me out of my thoughts.

“I don’t want any trouble.” Says a young male.

That phrase almost always means trouble. 

I immediately swoop down from the building and fly towards the sound.

“There won't be any trouble as long as you give me your money” Says another, deeper voice before the distinct sound of a gun being cocked is heard.

Not a moment later I soundlessly landed behind the culprit. His soon to be victim notices me but thankfully is smart enough not to say anything. I smile, giving the boy a look before tapping the man with the gun on the shoulder, startling him. The man jumps but his grip remains firm on the gun. He whips around, but before he even attempts to shoot I knock him out with a hard punch to the face. There is a loud crack as my fist connects with his jaw and he falls to the ground unconscious.

“That's gonna hurt in the morning.” I mumble to myself as I make my way to the boy. Now that the danger is gone I'm able to get a good look at him, and damn is he cute. He's not very tall, about my height with slightly curly brown hair and warm brown eyes. 

“Are you ok?” I ask, concerned by the bewildered look on his face.

He stares at me a moment before answering. “Yeah, yeah i'm fine just uh… who are you?”

“I'm your guardian angel.” I say my signature line and smile at him. Though he can't tell I'm smiling beneath my white mask and goggles.

“Guardian Angel? I’ve heard that name before.” The boy mumbles to himself.

“Doesn't surprise me. I'm kinda a big deal.” I say sarcastically

The boy snaps his fingers and his face brightens. “You're the one who caught the Soho Strangler!”

“Wow, you remember that? It was like a year ago.”

“I remember because I had tried to convince Tony-” He stops talking abruptly. As if he just realized what he was saying.

I tilt my head. “Who is Tony?” 

The boy stutters. “N-no one. J-just a friend.”

“Alright then.” I pause for a moment taking one last look at the attractive boys face. “I better get going. Lots of people to save, you know how it is. Make sure to call the cops and tell them where to find this guy.” I motion back to the unconscious man on the ground. “Anyways, have a safe night!” 

I move to fly off but am stopped by a gentle touch on my left wing. A touch so soft it causes me to shiver. I turn back around to face the boy.

“Sorry, I just uh, they just looked really soft.” He explains. “Sorry I shouldn't have touched without asking you.”

I shrug. “Don't worry about it. It's not like you groped me or anything.”

“Yeah I guess that's true.” He laughs nervously. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask but I can't promise an answer.”

“Fair enough.” He pauses. “Where'd you get your wings?”

That's a loaded question. And it's a question I'm definitely not answering. 

“It's a long story.” Is all I say.  
The boy nods, accepting that I don't want to talk about it. “Alright, well, thanks for saving me.”

“Anytime…” I pause, waiting for him to give me his name.

“Peter.” 

I smile. “Anytime Peter.”

And with that, I fly off into the night.

~

“Hey mom, I'm home!” I call, retracting my wings as I make my way through the window of my dingy studio apartment.

“Very funny.” Nat calls back from where she works in the kitchen. Now, most people wouldn't want to bring up anything to do with motherhood with Natasha. But it's different with me, you see Natasha and I came from the same place. The place that took away any chance of either of us having kids. That being said, Nat and I will sometimes jokingly call each other mom when the other acts motherly, knowing it's the only way we'll ever be called it.

“Well your acting like a mom, cooking for me. What are you cooking by the way? It smells amazing.”

“I only cook for you once a week, and is soup.” Natasha backtracks. “Well, technically it's bisque but whatever.”

I walk over to my bed and take a seat, giving myself the opportunity to take off my boots.

“Tomato or lobster?” I ask, naming the only two bisques I know.

“Tomato, and I'm making grilled cheese as well.”

“Sweet!” I cheer and take off my mask and goggles. I love tomato bisque and grilled cheese, a very different meal from my usual instant noodle dinners.

“”So how'd it go?” Nat asks.

“Pretty good, saved a crackhead from getting hit by a bus.” I leave the bed and make my way to Nat to help make the grilled cheese. 

“Really? That's 3 crackheads walking into oncoming traffic in a week.”

“I know. It's like it's a new trend.'' I say, taking the bread out of the cupboard and pulling out four slices. “I also saved a really cute guy.”

“Ooo.” Nat smirks. “And what was his name?” She continues to stir the bisque.

“Peter.” I sigh with a smile.

“Did you give him your number?” 

I butter the pieces of bread before grabbing two slices of cheese from the fridge. “Nat, you know I can't do that.”

“You could if you went public… maybe joined the Avengers…” She trails off.

I place the bread and cheese in a pan on the stove “Nat I told you I'm not ready for that.”

Nat sighs. “I know you're worried about what they'll think about your past but you have to remember we have a similar past.”

“Nat,” I pause, struggling to get the words out. “You never killed kids.” I frown

“Honey,” She stops stirring the soup and places a hand on my shoulder. “You were brainwashed, you didn't know what you were doing. Besides, they let Barnes join and he killed Tony's parents.”

She has a point.

“I'll think about it.” I sigh as I flip the sandwiches to the other side.

About 5 minutes later Natasha and I are sitting at my small kitchen table, eating our bisque and sandwiches in silence.

“You know,’ Nat pipes up. “If you were to join, you'd be able to move out of this dingy apartment.”

“I like my dingy apartment.” I lie

Nat rolls her eyes, not believing me. “You also get paid by Stark industries. You could finally quit your job.”

Now I can't lie about liking my job. Natasha knows I much rather be a career crime fighter than work at a coffee shop.

“Nat I told you I’ll think-” I cut off my sentence when I hear the distant sound of bank alarms going off.

“What do you hear.” Natasha asks, recognizing the look on my face.

“Bank alams.” I say as I quickly get up from the table and go to slip on my boots.

“I still don't know how you are able to do that.” Nat muses

“What do you mean?” I pull on my mask and goggles.

“How you can seperate all the sounds.”

I move towards the window. “Practice.” I shrug

“Go get em tiger” Nat encourages me as I make my way out the window.

I smirk. “Always do.”

~

Third person POV

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark!” Peter called as he rushed into the lab. Tony was hunched over a lab table, working on one of his latest inventions.

“What's up kid?” Tony asks as he continues to work.

“I almost got mugged!'' Peter cheers.

Tony looks up from the machine on his desk with a confused look on his face. “And you're excited about this because?”

“Cause I didn't get mugged.”

“Well congratulations kid. You've graduated from killing aliens to fight off muggers.”

Peter shakes his head. “It wasn't me who fought him off. It was an angel.”

Tony furrows his brows. “An angel?”

Peter nods. “The guardian angel. Remember last year? The girl that took down the Soho Strangler?”

“You mean the girl you begged me to recruit?”

“That very one.” He smiles.

Tony sighs. “Look kid, I see where you are going with this, but my answer is the same as last time.”

“But Mr. Stark-”

“There are tons of masked vigilantes out their Pete.” Tony interrupts. “But they don't all have what it takes to be an avenger.”

“Can't you just give her a chance?” Peter pleads.

Tony rolls his eyes. “I get that you think shes pretty-”

Peters cheeks heat up. “I don't think she is pretty. I haven't even seen her face.”

“I know what her suit looks like Peter. You don't need to see her face to know that she's a looker.”

“Ok, so maybe I do find her a tinsy bit attractive.” Peter admits. “But that's not the only reason I think she should join the Avengers.” 

Tony sighs. “If I promise to look into her will you let it go?”

“Promise.'' Peter smiles, feeling as though he's won a small battle.

“Friday.” Tony calls out. “Keep tabs on any headlines involving the Guardian Angel.”

“Yes sir.” her disembodied voice calls back

“You happy?” Tony looks at peter

“For now.”

~

Angels POV

I walk into the bank through the broken glass door, my boots crunching on the broken glass, the sound immediately catching the attention of all 5 masked robbers.

“Fuck!” one man shouts. “It's a fucking mutant.”

I scoff in fake offense. “Now boys, is that anyway to greet a lady?”

Another man, whom I assume is the boss shouts at the others.”Take her out lads.”

Before I have a chance to let out another snarky remark about them not being my type, I'm met with a hail of gunfire. Luckily I expected as much and I quickly covered my body with my (bulletproof) wings, successfully guarding my body from the bullets. After a few moments the rain of bullets stops.

“You guys done?” I question from behind my wings. I'm answered with three more gunshots from left. After that it's quiet except for the sound of empty chambers clicking. Knowing they've run out of bullets I pull my wings behind my back once again.

“My turn.” I smirk at the now defenceless men. I rush the ones on my right first. The first man grabs for me but misses as Islide under him, taking out his legs in the process. His body hits the ground with a thud. The next man (the boss) throws a punch which I easily doge, my hand darting out to catch his wrist. I use my enhanced strength to flip him over onto the ground where his friend previously lay. The one who I knocked down previously now back on his feet. As much fun as fighting is, I don't have time for this. The cops will be here soon, and I never wait around for the cops. I quickly duck under the next punch thrown at me, returning it with a sharp punch of my own, knocking the guy out instantly. And that's who it continues to go. I doge, punch, kick, flip, and my personal favorite, thigh strangle my way through the rest of the men. 

I unwarp my legs from around the last man's neck once his body goes limp. And no, i didn't kill him, I just made him pass out. I save death for more deserving enemies. 

When I hear the police sirens in the distance closing in at a rapid rate and know it's time for me to take my leave.

I take one last look at the bruised and battered bodys on the floor, double checking to make sure they are all still unconscious before leaving out the way I came.


	2. Chapter 2

3rd person POV

Tony sat back in his office chair, rewatching the news footage for a 7th time.

 _“The footage we are about to play for you is the first ever video of Manhattan's own Guardian Angel in action.”_ The blonde newscaster speaks out from Tonys computer. On the screen shows a winged woman in white taking on a hailfire of bullets. Moments later she rushes two of the men, sliding underneath his legs and taking him down in the process. The man hits the ground as she moves on to the next. The man's hand darts out in a punch, only to have his arm caught by the masked woman. In a second he's flipped on his back by-

“Tony?” A soft voice draws his attention away from the screen.

“Natasha, Barnes, come on in.”

Nat and Bucky file in the room, Bucky slightly hesitating before entering behind Natasha.

“What's so important you couldn't tell us over the phone?” Natasha questions.

“I thought it'd be easier to just show you.” Tony gestures to the two chairs across from his desk. “Please, take a seat.”

The pair both take a seat. Bucky once again hesitating. He's never been asked into Tonys office before and he assumes it can only be bad. Maybe Tony finally decided to kick him out of the tower, and wanted Natasha there to escort him out.

Tony starts the video from the beginning and turns it to face the two former assassins. “Watch the girl carefully.”

Natash shows no outward signs of the video affecting her but on the inside she's nervous. She's also excited, maybe Tony's interest in her young friend will spur her to finally join the Avengers. But at the same time she knows Angel wouldn't want them to discover her identity before she was ready.

“Well?” Tony looks at the pair expectantly.

Bucky is the first one to speak up. “She fights like you, Nat.” He observes.

“She also fights a little like you, James.” Nat counters.

Tony nods. “That's exactly why I asked you two to come in today.”

“You think one of us may know her.” Nat concludes.

“Precisely.”

“She could be Red Room.” Natasha shrugs. “But they never dealt with mutants. That's more of a Hydra thing.”

Tony turns to Bucky. “Barnes?”

“It's possible she is both.'' Bucky informs him. “Hydra once made a weapons trade with the room to get some highly trained assassins in the hopes of enhancing them.”

“Did any survive?’ Tony asks.

“No.” Bucky admits. “But it's possible that they did it again, after I escaped.”

Shit. Natasha thinks to herself, James knows too much.

“Where'd you hear about think girl, Tony?” Natasha changes the subject.

“Saved the kid from beginning mugged last night. He begged me to recruit her so I promised to keep tabs on her. This video is the first time she's been caught on tape fighting… I think she might be Avengers material after all.”

“Have you found her?” Nat asks.

“Not yet.” Tony lies. He has, in fact, found her. As soon as he saw the he went digging in through all the Hydra files they had gathered over the years. He found only one matching her description. And the file convenalty had a photo of the masked hero attached. “Anyways, I think you two have helped all you can. You can go.”

Natasha was confused why Tony let them go so easily but she wasn't going to stay around and find out why. She needed to go tell Angel that Stark is onto her.

“Alright.” Natasha stands to leave. “Just call if you have any more questions.”

Bucky follows her lead, silently leaving the way he came.

Bucky was half way down the hall when he heard Stark call form him under his breath. Just loud enough for his enhanced hearing to pick up. Bucky looks to see if Nat noticed, but she's already gone. Once again he hesitates before making his way back to tony.

“Yeah?” Bucky asks, making his way back into Tonys office.

“I lied.”

“Huh?”

“I lied. I already found the girl.” tony explains 

Bucky furrows his brows. “Then why did you say-”

“I think Nats connected to this.” Tony interrupts.

“How?” Bucky takes a seat.

“I had a hunch that our masked vigilante may be attached to Hydra.” Tony starts. “So I had Friday do a keyword search through the Hydra files for anything to do with wings. Only one thing came up. Do you remember that mission we did 4 years ago? When we took out that last Hydra base?”

“Hard to forget anything that has to do with them.”

“Right. Well that's where she came from. And before that, the Red Room.”

“So I was right.” Bucky concludes. “But I still don't see where Natasha comes into play.”

“I was getting to that. I think Nat found her there, and for whatever reason decided to save her. It would explain why Natasha took most of that year off. And why the Guardian Angel only started showing up about 3 years ago.”

“Alright. And what are you wanting from me.” Bucky asks suspiciously.

“I want you to follow her. Find out what she's like, If she's really changed.” Tony explains.

“I don't really do that stuff anymore tony.”

“What are you talking about? I had you tail a guy just last week.”

“That guy was an arms dealer. The Guardian Angel is just a girl. And I've been in her shoes. She probably just wants to be left alone.” He explains.

“Well what if she turns out to be dangerous? Isn't it better to be safe than sorry? Besides, you owe me.”

“Owe you for what?” Bucky questions.

“For killing my parents.” Tony deadpans

Of course Tony would bring that up. He always brings that up when he wants somthing from Bucky, and it always works.

“Fine.” Bucky grumbles out. “When do I start?”

Tony smiles in victory. “Now. She works at a coffee shop in Greenwich village called Joe and the Bean. She has a shift right now.”

  
  


~

  
  


My Girl by The Temptations plays softly in the background of the busy coffee shop. A tiny bell at the top of the door rings when Bucky walks in. A redheaded girl with her back turned to him turns toward him at the sound.

When he sees her face, it’s like Bucky’s whole world started moving in slow motion. Her perfectly curled hair bounces in her high ponytail as she turns around to greet him. A bright smile planted on her perfect face. She's wearing a scoop neck green and white striped shirt with dark black jeans, covered by a cream colored apron.

Bucky immediately realizes that this is the girl from the picture Tony showed him, only a few years older.

“Welcome to Joe’s!” She says cheerily. 

He gives her a small smile, trying to ignore the flutter in his heart as he makes his way to the register to order. Bucky secretly hopes that she’s the one taking his order, just so he can hear her melodic voice again. Unfortunately for him, a young greasy faced teen with an unpleasant look on his face is the one to take his order.

“Welcome to Joe and the Bean.” The boy asks unethically. “What can I get you?”

Bucky doesn’t even look at the menu, he doesn’t care for fancy coffee. “I’ll take a large coffee, black.” He tries to pay attention to the boy in front of him but his eyes keep darting over to the redhead girl.

“What roast would you like?” The boy asks.

“Whatever’s cheapest.” Bucky shrugs.

“Can I have your names?”

“James.”

“Alright. That will be $4.50.”

Bucky internally rolls his eyes. He hates how expensive everything has become. Not that it really matters to him at the end of the day considering all the military backpay and the Stark checks he receives every month.

Bucky hands him a ten. “Keep the change.” Bucky then walks over to the bar table along the window and waits for his name to be called.

A few minutes later, the stunning redhead calls his name.

“James!” She shouts.

Bucky walked up to the counter. He can help but smile as he looks at the girl. She smiles back at first. But the moment she realizes who she is, her eyes widen and her smile falters.

Shit. Bucky thinks to himself. He should’ve known she might recognize him.

Bucky continues to (now reluctantly) walk up to the counter.

“You’re Sergeant James Barnes.” She states. Bucky thinks she is about to tell him to leave. It wouldn’t be the first time he was kicked out of a restaurant for his past. But surprisingly, her smile returns. “You’re a hero.” 

Bucky’s brows furrow. “I wouldn’t say hero-“

“Were you charged for this drink?” The beautiful girl questions.

Bucky doesn't understand why she’s asking. “Um, yeah.”

“Josh!” The woman snaps. “Did you not notice you were serving and Avenger?! Give him back his money.”

“There’s really no need-“

“Nonsense! It’s company policy that Avengers eat and drink free.” She smiles.

The boy, Josh comes scurrying over. “Sorry Angel.” Josh quickly hands the ten dollar bill back to Bucky. “Sorry sir.”

Bucky awkwardly takes the money back. “It’s really not a problem.”

Josh stands there a moment, just staring at Bucky now that he realizes who he is.

“Get back to work josh.” Angel says pointedly at the boy before turning back to Bucky. “Sorry about that sir.”

Damn. Bucky would pay to hear her call him that again.

“Anything else I can get you, sir?” 

Keep it in you pants Barnes. Bucky thinks to himself.

Bucky knows he shouldn’t. It’s not part of the plan. Not what Stark asked him to do. But...

“Yeah.” Bucky gives her his charming 1940s smile. “You can give me your number.”

The girl's jaw goes slack for a moment and her cheeks heat up.

“You’re serious?” She asks, as if she doesn’t know how beautiful she is.

“As a heart attack, doll.” 

Angels heart flutters. “I think that can be arranged.” She says with all the fake confidence in the world. She then goes over to the register, prints out a blank receipt and proceeds to write her number on it.

“Here.” She smiles, handing the paper over to Bucky. But instead of just taking the paper and being on his way, he takes her hand and plants a soft kiss on her knuckles.

“Until next time, doll.” Bucky winks.

  
  


~

Angles POV

My heart was singing the whole way home. I can't believe that **the** James Buchanan Barnes wanted **my** number. I always thought he was the most attractive Avenger, and apparently he must have thought I was somewhat attractive enough to ask for my number. I was so distracted by my pleasant thought I almost didn't notice the clear sound of breathing coming from inside my small apartment. I hold my breath. Was this it? Did Hydra finally come for me? I stand there a moment, listening to their breath. 

Wait a second, a recognize that breathing.

“Natasha?” I call out as I walk into my apartment.

Nat stands from her place at the end of my bed. “We have a problem, _sestra._ ”

I slip off my leather jacket and hang it on the coat rack. “What kinda problem?”

“Starks onto you.”

My blood froze. “What do you mean starks onto me?”

“That boy you saved yesterday, that was Spiderman.” She informs me.

“I saved spiderman?” I asked in awe.

“Yep, and it turns out you left such a good impression that he asked Tony to recruit you”

“How'd you find this out?”

“Tony had me and Barnes come into his office.”

“As in James Barnes?” Please just let it be a coincidence.

“Yeah… why?” Natasha looks at me curiously.

“He was just at the coffee shop. Even asked for my number. I was really excited about it actually… do you think-”

Nat cuts me off, seeing where i'm going with this. “No, it was probably just a coincidence. I don't think Stark has found you yet.”

I breath out a sigh of relief. That would really hurt if he only asked me out because of Stark

“What is this I here about James giving you his number?” She smirks

My cheeks heat up as I remember the kiss on my hand. “Nothing, he just asked for my number.” I say nonchalauntly. “Now what are we going to do about Stark?” I changed the subject.

Nat shrugs. “I think your only option is to join the Avengers.”

I roll my eyes. “Be serious nat.”

“I am!” She defends. “We both know you would eventually join one day. Maybe this is a sign it's time.”

“I don't know Nat.” I sigh

“You'd get to see Barnes everyday, and Peter.” She sings.

“Natasha, I don't even know them. Who do you know I'll even like them?”

“Because I know your type.” She says as if it's obvious. 

“And what would that be?”

“Sweet and submissive, and strong and dominating.”

“How would you know that, Nat?” I laugh.

“Because you radiate switch energy.”

“Nat!” I say, slightly shocked by where this conversation is going. “Ive never even had sex!”

“You will If you move into the tower with those two, it's only inevitable.” She shrugs.

“Alright, that's enough of that.” I changed the topic. “I'll deal with the Stark thing when it comes time. But for now, let's eat. I'm starving.

“Fair enough.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for self-harm and violence against children.

Third person POV

They called her  _ Angel Smerti _ , for everywhere the Angel went, death followed.

It was like any other mission for her. She was given the names of who to kill, and told to leave no witnesses. She didn’t know the reason why Hydra wanted to kill the little girl and her family, and she didn’t care. It was all the same to her. Little did she know that this would be the mission that would scar her for life.

She came like a thief in the night, soundlessly and unexpectedly. But the monument she arrived at the young girls 10th birthday, all hell broke loose.

A little girl walked up to the young woman in awe. “Are you an Angel?” She asked in Russian.

Angel didn’t hesitate. She unholstered her gun and shot the child right between the eyes.

That’s when the screaming started. Parents and children began scrambling. One woman ran to the now dead child, cradling her body in her arms as she cried. 

Angel paid no mind. Only focused on the two hired security who have guns raised towards her. They shot, but she blocked the bullets with her wings. Security continues their fruitless attempt of gunning the women down. When they run out of bullets she pulls back her wings and rushes the two men. Slitting one's throat and breaking the neck of the other. The men were barely able to put up a fight against the trained assassin.

The rest of the group was even easier. She unloaded her clip into the crowd. Killing 5 parents. She reloaded her gun. Killing 6 children. The rest she took out by hand, either snapping their neck or slitting their throat. 

When Angel was done she looked over the bodies, checking each face to make sure she had gotten her intended victims. But she hadn’t, she was missing one. The little girl, Anastasia.

Angel listened carefully to her surroundings, tuning out the sound of birds chirping and the wind blowing. That’s when she heard it, a soft sniffling and a rapidly beating heart. 

She walked towards the sound, finding the little girl with red pigtails hiding underneath the party table.

“Please don’t hurt me!” The girl begged.

But the child’s pleads meant nothing to Angel. She simply pulled the girl out from under the table, placed her hand around the child’s neck and began to squeeze.

The girl fought, tiny fists pounding at Angel, but it was no use.

Angel continued to strangle the girl until her heart stopped beating. 

She then got up, took pictures of her dead victims faces and sent them to her handler, confirming her assigned kills.

~

Angels POV

“No!” The word leaves my mouth in a scream as I wake up, drenched in a cold sweat. Tears well in my eyes as the dream weighs fresh on my mind. I can still feel the young girls tiny neck being crushed. I can still hear the sound of her useless attempts to breath. 

I throw back the covers and quickly rise from my bed, shaking all the way.

I know what I need to do. The only thing a can do to ease the guilt.

I crouch down, reach my hand under my bed and pull out a box of my weapons. Shuffling through the contents to find a shining silver knife. I make my way on shaky feet to my bathroom and strip myself of my pajamas. I don't want to get blood on my clothes. If Natasha finds blood on them she’ll ask questions. And if she found out about what I do, she’d surely force me to move in with her where she could keep an eye on me.

I step into the bathtub, knife clutched in my hand. I lay down in the tub and start cutting. Eleven cuts on my left arm, for all the life’s of the children I took. Seven cut on my right arm, one for each parent.

Then I move to my thighs, each cut helping take the edge off my guilt.

I keep cutting until the tears stop and I feel numb.

I then wait a few minutes for the cuts to scab over before rinsing off the extra blood.

I sigh, getting out of the tub on my now steady feet and dry myself off. 

Next, as I always do on nights like these I make my way over to my closet, pulling out my suit and slipping it on before leaving out my window and flying out into the night.

~

I find a decently high rooftop in a quiet part of town to perch atop. I lay down on my back, staring blankly at the stars in the sky.

Now I know what you're thinking. Is it really a good time to save people while covered in fresh scars that are obviously self inflicted? The answer is no, it's not. But I don't plan on saving anyone tonight. I'm only in my suit so that anyone who may catch a glimpse at me won't be able to identify me as my true identity. 

At least I didn't plan on anyone catching more than a glimpse of me from the sky, but fate seemed to have other plans.

“Guardian Angel?” A familiar voice ask in surprise from the other end of the roof.

I'm so surprised by the voice that I momentarily forget to cover the now almost healed scars.

“Spiderman?” I furrow my brows as I face the fellow masked hero. What's he doing here? Does he know my identity?

He takes a few steps closer, his masked eyes going wide when he gets a closer look at me.

What is he looking at- shit! My scars haven't fully healed yet. There's no doubt that that's what he's looking at.

“Are you alright?” He slowly approaches me.

I feel vulnerable under his gaze. My breathing becomes heavy as he gets closer to me and I feel as though the world is closing in around me. I've never been vulnerable like this in front of anyone before, not even natasha. And I don't like it. I want to get away from him, but I'm stuck in my spot, about to have a panic attack in front of a man I don't even know.

He's standing right in front of me now “I'm fine.” I say shakily, trying my damn hardest not to cry. I can't help but let one tear slip down my cheek. Fortunately for me my mask hides it. What my mask doesn't hide is my whole body shaking, as if there's an earthquake just below my feet.

“I'm-i'm going to hug you, ok?” 

I'm unable to stop myself from ndding.

Slowly, as if approaching a wild horse, he puts his arms around my shaking body. I collapse to his sturdy arms, the floodgates holding back my tears now open. A sob wracks through my body as I fully let go. Breaking down in the arms of a stranger.

“It's ok, just let it out.” he encourages, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

I do let it out. I don't know how much time passes until I stop crying, but eventually we both end up sitting at the edge of the roof with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. We sit there in silence for several minutes, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. The tears that now fill my goggles are starting to bother me.

“Screw it.” I say, ripping off the goggles so that I can rub my eyes.

Spiderman stares at me, I assume in surprise.

“What?” I question him after a minute of his staring.

“N-nothing.” he stutters. “It's just… you have really pretty eyes.”

A blush creeps up my cheeks. No one has ever called me pretty. I've been called brave, strong, even deadly, but never pretty. It makes me feel funny.

“Thanks. I like your eyes too.”

He tilts his head to the side. “You've never seen my eyes.”

Oh right, I guess he doesn't know I'm aware of his identity, which makes me think he still might not know mine.

“I mean the eyes of your mask.” I quickly amend. “How'd you manage to make them so expressive?”

“Oh. It's nanotech.” He explains. “The whole suit moves with my body and face.”

“Cool.”

We sit there in silence for another minute.

“How are you feeling?” Peter asks.

“Better than earlier.” I answer honestly.

“That's good.”

Another moment of silence.

“What were you doing up here?” He questions

“Needed some fresh air. What about you?”

He hesitates. “It's a long story.”

I shrug. “I'll be here till about sunrise, so I have time.”

He lets out a shaky breath. “That ally right below us. A year ago today my aunt died in that alley.”

I was taken aback for a moment, surprised by his openness. 

“I'm so sorry.”

Peter sniffs. “She was walking to the subway after dinner with her friends. I don't know why she thought it was a good idea to go down an unlit alley way while there was a serial killer on the loose.”

“The Soho Strangler.” I say in realization.

Peter nods. “Now I come here every year to make sure no one ever dies in this ally again.”

I feel the guilt seep in. “I remember her.” I kept up with all of the strangler's victims. “I caught him one week later.” 

“I know. That's why I'm telling you.”

I turn to face him. “I'm so sorry. If i had caught him sooner-”

“No.” he interrupts me. “I'm not telling you so you feel guilty. I'm telling you because I wanted to thank you. You have now idea how much it means to me that you ended him.”

“It was justice.”

Peter sniffs again.”I know.”

Now it's my turn to put my arm around his back, letting him lean into me as he silently cries.

We stay like that until I see the sun just begin to peak on the horizon.

“I better get going.” I say, grabbing my goggles from the ground and placing them back on.

“You can join us you know.”

“Huh?” I turned back to face him.

“The Avengers.” He clarifies. “We could use someone like you. Someone who cares about justice.”

I shake my head. “You all care about justice.”

“Not all of us are prepared to kill for it.”

“The strangler was a powerful man. I knew he wouldn't be locked up if I handed him over to the authorities. I did what was right.”

“I know you did. I would have done the same thing. But honestly, I'm glad I didn't have to.”

I furrow my brows. “Why's that?”

“I have this rule. I don't kill humans. If it wasn't for you I would have broken the rule.”

I wasn't sure what to say to that. So I repeated myself from earlier. “I should get going.”

Peter nods. “Will you think about it?”

I sigh. “I'll think about it.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving a kudos or comment, I'm dying for human interaction!


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